
There was a show several years back called the O.C, hence the name, the OG. Not Orange County though, Olive Garden. My dad works night shift and has always kept strange hours. He loves it though and it seems to work for him. I remember several times getting up to feed a baby in the night or insomnia and giving him a call.
Well, in the wonderful world of technology I was facebooking from my phone in the middle of the night and struck up a conversation with him. Yes, I had to teach him how to use facebook but I was highly impressed he remembered and was able to do the chat thing with me. He said that we should go to lunch sometime, my choice. So today I took him up on it.
Dad and I went to the Olive Garden, just the two of us. In my whole adult life I dont think I have gone out to eat with my dad by myself.....ever. Craziness. I usually have a child hanging from me (literally), we are doing a family meal, or it is my brother mother dad and I. So he said my choice where we go and honestly I was hankering for fettuccini alfredo. I have not had that in at least two years (as I was on a weight loss program before heartbeat) and wowza, the wait was worth it. I had forgotten how delish those breadsticks were in the alfredo sauce. I ate three, cow I know. IDC.
During lunch I saw my dad engaging me and truly wanting to be there. I was the center of his attention and he was all ears to anything I was interested in talking about. I really saw an effort on his part, not a forced effort but genuine. For those of you who have read "Captivating", this was the first time he had "answered my question" for me. Not by telling me that I was beautiful or showering me with praises but in his interest in all things Jaimie.
For some women, Im sure you are reading this thinking, "I go to lunch with my dad every Wednesday, no biggie." This was big. I was poured into. Dad has been a different man since I became a married woman and more spesifically since I had children. He is an amazing grandfather whom my kids adore. Since this is Jaimie therapy 101 let me tell you a couple tales from the past:
As a child dad was not very affectionate. It was obvious my brother was his prize. Gifts, time and attention spoke loudly as a child. I remember longing for affection and he would put out one finger and touch my arm and say, "feel all that love." Funny right? It was for a while but that became the norm for our exchanges in the department of physical touch. (question unanswered)
On my wedding day I asked my dad (right before he walked me down the aisle), " Do I look beautiful?" His response was cavalier and short in , "of course you do." I didnt believe him. Not just because I am a woman and I dont believe what my dad or husband might say in regards to me and beauty, but because his response did not say, "You are the most beautiful bride I have ever seen." (question unanswered)
His love for me today answered this question more fully than his "of course you do" response did 12 years ago. Dad has grown, I have grown and I love that our relationship has grown. Thank you God for this man who I am proud to not just call dad, but father.